moar texts

Fiona: i love how hr keeps sending out all these weight watchers at work emails but not a one about quitting smoking
Sarah: thats so fucked. still think you should sue
Fiona: lol
Fiona: [employer] now hiring, fatties need not apply


Sarah: i am the worst ever, but could you clean litter pan for me tonight? i am getting home real late and i noticed this morning it is way ripe
Fiona: no problem
Sarah: carlo and i thank you
Fiona: i noticed it was a bit stank this morning too. to dos for this evening: psychiatrist, laundry, cat box, try to avoid hyperventilating over rpattz hair, continue not having sex
Sarah: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA


Sarah: ugh. waiting at a bar and waitress making small talk. cant handle it. LOVE DRINKING ALONE THOUGH
Fiona: lol lol. just listened to a long conversation about rent control and jail and classic cars and oil spill. ah, the shrink waiting room at a mental health slash substance abuse program


Fiona: am waiting to see shrink. hnnnnnnnnnng crazy people.
Alanty: Haha YIPES THEY SCARE ME
Fiona: seriously. i'm like "uh, why were you in jail for the last 49 days? i mean, i guess i can watch your walking stick/branch and plastic bag full of grocery circulars and other plastic bags while you disappear for 20 minutes."
Alanty: Eeeeeeek!!!! Your shrink must be grateful for normies like you!
Fiona: i like to think so!
Alanty: Youuuuu know it! You should get the non-scary patient discount


Fiona: ps [coworker] gem from last friday i forgot to tell you about: "you know, 'raw bar' is almost a palindrome...though i guess with palindromes 'almost' doesn't count"
Sarah: awesome
Alanty: Juahahahahahahahahahahahah
Alanty: You shoulda given him the old mr walsh-ism: "close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades."
Fiona: oh man. i am totally saying that all the time from now on
Alanty: Haha mr. Walsh ruled. I hope he's happy wherever he is, and safe from that psycho death threater!