I spent the whole train ride wondering why I was the only one with an idiotic grin on my face

Fiona: I JUST RODE THE R TRAIN WITH CHRIS NOTH

Riley: Omg i am sooooooooo jealous, gimme some of that!

Alanty: HO SHITTTTT!!

Mom: OMG!

Anna: AWESOME!!!!!!

Mike: Holy eff! Do you feel any different?

Sarah: why was chris noth on the subway???

Kaitlin: WHAT

Street harassment and books, just another day

Sarah: a new one: "mis, miss you dropped something." (sarah looks around confused) "miss, you dropped my heart." that doesn't even make sense!

Fiona: WHAT THE FUCK. "miss, miss! you dropped a deuce on my heart!"

Fiona: ps steven lent me up in the air (the book). whyyyyy, i just wanna finish readin rebecca and not have his dumb book kicking around forevs

Sarah: oh GOD. does he just have the worst most conventional taste every??? also, next halloween i wanna be mrs. danvers

Fiona: ugh yes. also, that is totally an awesome costume idea. fuck. i might steal that.

Fiona: also we should have a halloween party next year. or go to one. as mrs. danvers and the ghost of rebecca. carlo can be jasper.

Sarah: if you want i'll be rebecca and you can just be totally gay for me

Fiona: OH THE LATE MRS. DE WINTER ALWAYS WAS FOND OF SAUCES

Fiona: ps steven lent me up in the air (the book). whyyyyy, i just wanna finish readin rebecca and not have his dumb book kicking around forevs

Alanty: Hahahahahaha as midnight oil said (paraphrase) you gotta give it baaaaaack. How can we sleep when our books are returning?

Fiona: hahaha, i love that song

BREAKING: This conversation took place in person.

Sarah: Is Lando his real name?
Fiona: Orlando. When I first met him I was like OH MAN LIKE LANDO CALRISSIAN???
Sarah: ...who?
Fiona: (facial expression conveying something between incredulity and derision)
Sarah: It's something really nerdy, isn't it?
Fiona: It's a character from Star Wars.
Sarah: Oh. Wait. I think I knew that from that Blink-182 song about Star Wars.
Fiona: That is WAY WORSE than knowing it from actual Star Wars.

This is really what our lives are like

Sarah: oh p.s. im vit d deficient too. HEALTH PROBLEM TWINS!

Fiona: oh fyi for vit d deficiency. my vitamin d level was like SHOCKINGLY low when they tested me for it the first time, so i imagine the doc told you to take supplements but just fyi i take 400 iu vitamin d in the morning, and then 1 calcium supplement with 400 iu vit d each at lunch and dinner, and that works really well and my levels are way way higher. so yeah. i am at like senior citizen level of daily supplements and pills.

Sarah: she told me what to take but i forget. will compare with you at home like bored widows

Fiona: hahaaha our lives rule. "marilyn manson's music really speaks to me. how much vitamin d do you take to keep your bones from turning into dust?"

Sarah: HAHAHAHAHA

TRIUMPHANT RETURN

Alanty: more like DUMP DAY AMIRITE

Fiona: lol srsly. also fyi the rpattz interview kinda sucked! like it was funny but same old boring questions with just a few gems here and there. the jimmy fallon interview was way better actually

Alanty: your own encyclopedic knowledge of rpattz ruined the interview for you!! it's like when aron watches animated shows and can't enjoy them cuz he knows too much about what good animation is

Fiona: hahaha yeah my rpattz thing is definitely a problem in that way AND NO OTHER!!!

Fiona: man i wish i'd listened to bikini kill in high school. i would've been apeshit over this

Sarah: dude, that's why when i met k hanna i was super embarrassing and gushy. cuz it srsly CHANGED MY LIFE

Fiona: amaaaaazing

Sarah: p.s. i still listen to rebel grrl all the time

Fiona: that song is so effing good

Fiona: I WASN'T BORN WITH ENOUGH MIDDLE FINGERS

Sarah: glad you're enjoying my adolescence

Fiona: this is so much fun. i wish i had listened to such awesome stuff in high school. i need to find someone who has a coal chamber cd i can borrow. CHAGRIN

Sarah: dude. not even i liked coal chamber....(says the girl with two staind cds)

Fiona: hahahahaha oh god. it was ninth grade, ok? i was 14 and had a terrible influence for a best friend. also i had to take what i could get, as i just remembered that this time of my life coincided with my dad's insane religious phase where he wouldn't let me buy californication, also didn't want us to watch buffy the vampire slayer because of the demons, and also i found out years later used to sprinkle holy water and scatter miraculous medals in our room out of concern for our souls and to make us wanna go to church

Sarah: pls write a book about that now k thnx