More good stuff

Fiona: just saw a hilariously scrabbly puppy run around in a circle too fast, fall on its face and recover immediately. new spirit animal, yes/yes?

Mike: I'd say...Yes?!

Fiona: "i'd fight gandhi."

"...good answer."

Mike: Ah fight club. Many a young man's confusing introduction to testosterone.

Fiona: and the start of many a young girl's unsettling sexual attraction to sweaty blood-covered men.

Mike: I count on that daily.

Fiona: ah, new york: the city with no eye contact. it's good to be back.

Alanty: Hahaha. Dispatch from washington heights, capital of baffling street harassment: (man looks at me) damn, I paid 50 dollars too much! (???)

Fiona: dude, that liquid eyeliner is so choice. i'll never doubt your makeup recommendations again.

Ninty: Darn tootin! I love that eyeliner! Like a marker! The choice-iest! Lol

Fiona: it's so easy!

Ninty: Helllls yeah. Will make people believe we have ballin' makeup skills we dont' actually possess.

Fiona: PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN

Ninty: Ahahaha. YEAHHHHH SUNGLASSES

Ninty: I'm watching usa v. Algeria. SO EFFIN TENSE. lol

Fiona: OH MAN. they're screening it on the 11th floor with coffee and donuts but the hr guy i hate is there so i don't wanna go

Ninty: If he leaves, YOU GOTTA CHECK IT lol.

Fiona: i watched the game from minute 68 on! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT SHIT! those algerian rogues with their nonstop fouls. also 91st minute goal! fucking AMAAAAAAAZING

Ninty: SERIOUSLY. total insanity! Pure american balls made that possible. EAT IT, ALGERIA.

Fiona: AHAHAH i just emailed your text to my coworkers who were also watching cause it was so awes.

Marge: WOOOOO!!!! Eclipse viewing with Alana and Sarah etc?? It's supposed to be horrible but we can ogle some sweet vampire action.

Fiona: oh my god yes let's! not to get your hopes up but there is a refreshing amount of plot in eclipse!

Marge: FUCK YEAH! But I was looking forward to that camera circling thingy where nothing happens for 4 months. Should I read the book first? Cuz I'll do it, I will!

Fiona: ahahaa cinematic genius. i don't think it's necessary, it's not like you'd be like "the book was way better" but it wouldn't take you very long should you choose to do so

Marge: I think I had better. I might not understand the complexities of the relationships otherwise, which would be devastating. WOOOO I say!!

Fiona: it's very hard to follow. easy to confuse the brooding with the glowering and the glittering with the sparkling. "wait, which one is like a russet adonis and which one is like a marble tribute to a forgotten god of beauty?"

Marge: AHAHAHAHA. I tried to read your text aloud to Alana but was laughing so hard I hadda just show it to her and now she is too.

Fiona: also that dude with the cut lip: fiiiiiiine!

Ninty: I KNOW. I had my eye on him the whole game. Also: jozy altidore. FIIIIINE. And two months younger than me! I feel so unaccomplished!

Fiona: we can't all be sexy soccah playahs, some of us just gotta be playahs reg-steez

Ninty: Ahaha indeed!

HNNNNNNG

Fiona: hoo boy, there's nothing more disgusting first thing in the morning than a commute that's heavily scented of human dook

Alanty: OH JESUSSSSS. People in other cities might ask how we know it's human dook. Then we would laff knowingly.

Fiona: hahahaha

Fiona: i feel like i can still smell it. i'm concerned that i absorbed some of the smell

Alanty: Also funny bc last night I dreamed -- and Marge helped me realize that poop in my dreams is most often a symbol of psychic residue of emotional "shit" being processed and dealt with -- so I dreamed you clogged the terlet with this HUGE ENTIRE-INTESTINE SHAPED poo, which was so dense and impacted I had to chop it up and plunge it down. I think it's about you going to therapy n shit.

Fiona: ahahahahaha! my dream self and psychic shit apologize for clogging your mind-toilet

Alanty: Omg the mind-toilet made me die laffing on the street. Also don't worry, you didn't absorb the smell. You are just olfactorily traumatized and experiencing post dook traumatic stress

Fiona: post-dookmatic stress disodor!

Alanty: AHAHAHAHA YOU ARE A JEENYUS

Fiona: goin on the blerg lol

Alanty: Hahahahaha how could it not: it's about poop!