Oh god, the frenzy is getting worse

Sarah: "shall i rephrase? breakfast time for the human"


Sarah: "AND THEN I CAREFULLY SEALED AWAY MY HEART"
Sarah: p.s. i'm getting choked up. i hate myself.
Fiona: at least in all my insanity, that never happened to me.
Sarah: eff u
Fiona: "eff u," said sarah to the autistic robot


Sarah: dude why on earth do they get on a PLANE??? don't they have super human speed????
Fiona: it's faster than running. alice says so. p.s. kill me


Sarah: lesson of the day: reading a 550 page book called Rape on the subway is more awkward than reading twilight on the subway


Fiona: p.s. i've decided to preface everything i do with "(blank) time for the human"
Sarah: hahaha i was thinking the same thing
Sarah: sleep time for the human!


Sarah: AHHHHHHHHH LIFE
Sarah: question: are the voices she hears in new moon actually edward or just her imagining what edward would say, i can't tell cause none of it makes sense anyway
Fiona: she's imagining it. did you get to the end yet? she gives some bullshit explanation at the end that's supposed to be like oh she's not crazy but it makes no fucking sense.
Sarah: no i'm only on page 115
Sarah: question: wy doesn't bella just find another vamp to turn her?
Fiona: because of the frenzy that starts when they drink blood. although there are ton of newborns in eclipse. not surprisingly this discrepancy is never addressed. ps kill me.


Melissa: "the large hands fitting providentially into a deep dent in the side of the van's body"?!?! Really?!?! oh boy, haha.
Fiona: hahaha oh my god are you reading it???
Melissa: Yeeeees. i borrowed from a woman on my floor. i go all curious and it really might kill me like a cat. So. Bad. You were not exaggerating!
Melissa: i shake my fist at you stephanie meyers! as i find myself reading voraciously to find the plot
Fiona: hahaha i'm putting that on my blog
Fiona: also settle in for a long ride before plot shows up, late to the party and drunk as usual
Melissa: Yes, fame! I was actually thinking about crcking open wine to read with: if the plot is going to show up wasted, i can meet it tipsy.
Fiona: breaking dawn, page 55: first appearance of the word "manfully" in this history of the english language. STEPHENIE MEYER YOU ARE A DONKEY
Melissa: Hahaha i guess she used the thesaurus so hard it broke and she was stuck making up her own backward-ass (donkey that is) words. Oh i crack myself up.
Fiona: hahah absotively
Fiona: srsly it's like a madlibs thing. bella admired edward's (adjective), (adjective) (body part) and (verb, past-tense) at his (type of rock)-like (body part).
Fiona: hmmm. that particular sentence could be really dirty if not careful. speaking of, there are so many moments where i'm like WHY AREN'T THEY DOING IT
Melissa: Haha it felt totally dirty and i was thinking to myself "hmmm do they get all nekkid?" right now it's more angsty than sexy. -we can't have teens across the usa thinking it's okay to have premarital sex! even if he says he's a vampire
Fiona: hahaha stupid mormon author. there's a part in eclipse when they talk about which commandments they've broken, and then edward is totally gonna do it with her, but then bella decides she wants to wait for marriage too, and i was like FFFFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKK
Melissa: Hahaha i guess that's why all hat fanfiction sprouted up. Some frustrated readers don't stand for that. No doesn't always mean no, someimes it means YES!
Fiona: haha thank god for people on the internet who are shameless desperate weirdos and make me seem less insane
Melissa: Ahh i think that almost everyday of my life. Thanks universe and technology, now i know for sure i am more sane and balanced than a lot of other people!


Fiona: "the two brazilians looked incredibly short and dark next to him." RACIST
Sarah: hahahahahahaha


Fiona: jacob's perspective, page 1: "life sucks, and then you die. yeah, i should be so lucky." DAZZLING WORDPLAY, SPARKLING EVEN


Fiona: fyi breaking dawn has a refreshing amount of plot


Fiona; breaking dawn reveals that while humans have 23 chromosomal pairs, vamps have 25. SCIENCE FAIL
Ninty: THAT'S FUCKING RETARDED.

Fiona: "it was a place where anyone could believe magic existed. a place where you just expected snow white to walk right in with her apple in hand, or a unicorn to stop and nibble at the rosebushes." OMG SERIOUSLY ARE YOU SERIOUS
Fiona: "IF I HADN'T SEEN HIM UNDRESSED I WOULD HAVE SWORN THERE WAS NOTHING MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN EDWARD IN HIS KHAKITS AND PALE BEIGE PULLOVER"
Sarah: er.....i love you but you're waking me up girl
Fiona: oh sorry, will stop [CHAGRIN]